People are quick to use email forwarding as an impromptu Emergency Alert System.  There seems to be a steady flow of “the sky is falling” new things to be terrified about when it concerns the safety and health of our kids.  Put a story in first-person who is just trying to educate parents so they don’t have to go through what they did, mix it with the easily accessible heartstrings of an overzealous parent and you have 4-5 new things a week to wring your hands over when your child is not under your direct supervision.  I would submit that an ounce of healthy concern and prevention is worth a truckload of baseless worry so I am hoping to help you distinguish what warrants a genuine threat and what belongs in your email trash.

“There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem.” - Harold Stephens

Snopes is an online database that is quick to respond to “…not only urban legends but also common fallacies, misinformation, old wives’ tales, strange news stories, rumors, celebrity gossip, and similar items.”

While nothing can take the place of common sense, the classic gut-check and the tried and true mommy sixth sense.  Snopes can hopefully take a little worry off your significantly packed plate.  Here are some recent ones:

• While plastic water bottles can provide a significant long-term environmental concern they do not produce carcinogens when reused or frozen.  (the effects of bisphenol A is still widely debated)

Kleen Kanteen is AWESOME!!

• Ingestion of hand sanitizer CAN result in alcohol poisoning.

• Mr. Clean Magic Erasers DO NOT contain formaldehyde.

Good news because these things are INCREDIBLE!!

Mr. Clean Magic Erasers

Rwanda Gorilla by YoungRobv

Habit is a cable; we weave a thread of it each day, and at last we cannot break it. -Horace Mann

The things that get measured are the things that get done. -Michael LeBouef

On paper, kids are a bad investment.  There are not many cases in which you would get out of them what you put in financially.  Yet when it comes to basic life needs of significance, love and connection there is no measure to the return on investment. I get plenty of ego feed from my kids:  Pictures of me, awards of “Best Dad” with little basis for comparison, exchanges of excited waves every time they come around a carousel.  Two or three times a week I get the best chorus of squeals and appreciation upon arrival imaginable when I come in the door from work and I only wish I was as cool as they think I am.  They ask for stories of my childhood and hunger for more details.  They are excited to help with the smallest of activities as long as they can be by my side.  Parents can be quick to label the behavior of a child as good or bad and hope the bad habits are something they will grow out of.  Here are three areas of behavior my kids have me beat hands down and this adult needs to unlearn some bad habits.   I have arranged them in a quick to review acronym of A.P.E. so it is easy to check myself when I see “adult” behaviors that don’t align with how I want my kids to perceive their dad.

Appreciation:

Does my family know they are valued?

I wonder what percentage of my interactions start with “No” and “Don’t”.   How would you see yourself if the majority of your behavior was painted negatively and corrected?  Is there a part of what my kids are doing I could positively encourage before making suggestions of what might be wrong?  Almost always.  I also use the appreciation bookmark as a reminder to see things from their perspective.  I need to be mindful of returning that appreciation and letting them know they are precious and special to me.  Stores ARE boring and jumping on beds IS fun.  I am getting better at this but would not yet call it a habit.

You were given a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say “thank you? -William Arthur Ward

Presence in the moment:

Wherever I am, BE there.

We all are called to play multiple roles in life that pull on our time and attention.  Because my workday doesn’t produce much idle time I often mistakenly treat my home time as discretionary and find I am mentally organizing to-do’s or worrying about when I will find the time to check them off.  When I fail to be in the moment with my kids I risk missing learning moments or worse, portraying the feeling that they are unimportant to me.  A nightly habit of 10-15 minutes of quiet time allows me to press snooze on those nagging thoughts because I know they will be visited later.  I will often jot down a quick note to myself to allow my mind to let it go.  I struggle with this one daily.

This moment deserves your full attention, for it will not pass your way again. -Dan Millman

Enthusiasm:

This isn’t a “have to”.

Even the above reminders of action can come across as “have to” if they are not done with enthusiasm.  Admittedly, one of my strengths is enthusiasm.  I enjoy working with new people, solving problems and telling stories and find I can be much more effective and productive if people like to be around me.  However, because I spend my work day pumping out energy my family will often unfairly get my wind down.  I run the risk of “someday syndrome”.  I can always convince myself that today is a special circumstance and I would be more energetic if I were not so tired or had a less busy day.  Today is yesterday’s someday and every day that passes is another memory of their dad’s temperament.   My “plan” to show enthusiasm remains a plan unless I pay attention to my mood and body language.  Do my kids know their stories are exciting to me?  Am I asking questions, really exploring and fishing for more?  Or am I offering the occasional “really?” “that’s cool”, and “wow”.  They are fun, being their Dad is fun, life is fun, even solving the day’s problems can be fun.

Why grin and bear it when you could smile and change it? -Unknown

Strengths and weaknesses can vary.  This list is specific to what I find as my daily potential for failure.  Review your daily interactions and habits.  Are they consistent with how you see yourself or how you want to be seen?  Feel free to leave any personal areas for growth or thoughts in the comments.

Introducing KidKaizen - the flagship post a.k.a. “Hello World!”.  My name is Corey Lallo.  I live with my wife and four kids in northern Illinois.   In addition to husband, father and friend I am a reader, a worker, quasi-writer and a productivity and self-improvement junkie.  I am the publisher and editor of KidKaizen.  My wife Jen is a stay at home mom, CEO of our household, wonderful wife and contributing editor.  Our vision for KidKaizen is a massive online playdate without constraints of time or geography, a collaboration of parents and anyone interacting with kids to share ideas, tips, philosophies, frustrations, successes, failures, humor and support.

I present the “Lego-Blocks analogy”.  For the purposes of this comparison, please envision the primary colored, one-size-fits all blocks.  They were simple and universal.  You could build your arsenal with small and large kits of differing styles or colors.  If you lost a couple, the set wasn’t broken you simply continued with your vision with what was available.  You decided on your foundation, be it the floor or a table top and used available blocks as you saw fit oftentimes not knowing what you were creating until it grew.  “Look, a spaceship”or, “Mom, check out my castle.”

This is how KidKaizen sees parenting advice.  There is no “master set” and few essential pieces.  Usable blocks are obtained from many different sources. You pick and choose your foundation, grab a block that looks like it will fit your purpose and give it a shot.  If a block doesn’t align, your structure is not doomed.  You simply remove it, re-evaluate it or set it aside for another project.  Since kids are all individuals, the process is inherently dynamic.  You can’t use the exact same strategies for each or get all your advice from one source.  By viewing our philosophy as a work in progress we allow for ideas and inspiration from all kinds of sources.  Extended family, friends, co-workers, books, websites and sometimes situations that don’t seem to be related to kids in the least can all contribute to our collaborative “manual”. Something that worked perfectly for one family or even a child within a family may not apply or even evoke negative results in another child.  What works for us may be vastly different than what works for you and your family. What you will find here is a “give this a shot” mentality.

Our family has a few tried and true methods that work for now but we have also retired countless methods and activities that seemed to be sure things but suddenly lost their punch because the little ones have bored of it or found their own work-around of our work-around.

We love connecting with other parents and kid-enthusiasts to learn from their ups and downs.  In that manner KidKaizen is just as much a call to help as it is an offer of it.  Please join in the fun through post comments, sharing tips and ideas and spreading the word of KidKaizen.